There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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