You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
