Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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