i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
