i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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