i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i think i have two assholes
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
