either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
