whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
