ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Are we still banned from the library?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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