oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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