People with herpes should wear stickers.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
