Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
