i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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