Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
