Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize