...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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