i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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