Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
