I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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