DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
