He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
These tits shall not be calmed
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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