I hate all girls vehemently.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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