hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My penis needs a shock collar
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
