she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
