Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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