After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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