Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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