if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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