I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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