Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
