I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
