My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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