Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
