let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
