yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Barsexuality is the new black.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
