Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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