how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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