who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
