I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
