I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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