Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
