16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
