I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
