Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
