I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
