I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
