we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
