yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
