My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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