she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
