Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
