yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
