im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
