are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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