if i can run in heels then i can drive
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
