That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
