If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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