I wanna passion pit in your ass
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
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i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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