i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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