i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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