i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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