I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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