how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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