why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So vagazzling was a success
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
