There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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